2015 - Leaders and Managers Who Practice "Lord of the Flies"

"Let's go around and share what I just told you to tell me"

 

(Fifty Nifty Years in the United States Series)

Un-named Manager (s) – While I have made every attempt to celebrate this year, I have not always learned or gained from amazing and wonderful people. There have been those who along my journey have added to my challenges and created different opportunities to learn. Those who know me well, know how I am a visual learner and sometimes the visual learning has been repeated over and over until the lesson sunk in.

I mentioned before that I had learned how best to NOT be from lowering the bar (previous BLOG Law of the Lid) for a co-worker as well as myself. I’ve also learned how to forgive them and forgive myself. It was only recently that I realized that one of my best coping strategies in life has been my imagination and how I apply it often in difficult situations.

Another lesson from Richard Bach (also a previous BLOG) when he describes taking a journey of how life can play out in his book “The Bridge  Across Forever; A True Love Story.” The quote goes, “That’s what learning is, after all; not whether we lose and how we’ve changed because of it, and what we take away from it that we never had before. To apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way is winning.”

In 2015 I began another creative and imaginative task of looking at those challenging folks who I allowed to push my buttons in a different way. GRATITUDE. (And another BLOG) It was a manager that I had been working with for some time that always seemed to bring back anything that I submitted for a revision and correction. My story on this person was that no matter what I did, there would be a change or different interpretation of what needed to be completed. Every time this person showed up in front of me, I would say to myself, “What gift does this person bring me today?” And not in snarky manner, but in a genuine moment of gratitude and blessing.

They reminded me of others who I allowed to challenge me before and I gave them the power to do so. When I became the official Director for my first camp, an old Y guy told me this about my staff training. Let’s call him Dan. He said, “Make sure you hire someone that you know that you are going to fire during that training week. That way you make a point with the rest of the staff and they will do what you want.” I thought this was great.

Dan, who I greatly admired, was sharing what I thought was a secret bit of knowledge that he thought would make me a better director. (notice I didn’t say leader). So, I did. And during that week, I knew that Gus was that person. He was having a tough time with direction and he was likable. I knew he was going to go in a matter of days. And when the time came, I made it very public and I thought that I orchestrated this so well. We were in the middle of a session and he was getting riled up and I kept prodding him along until he blew up. At that point I told him, ”Gus, you’re done. Thank you very much. I’d like you to go and pack up. Your services here are no longer needed.” I won’t describe what happened from there and it was not pretty, nor am I proud of any of it.

I felt like a real “BOSS” that day (and not the kind I wrote about from 2003). I felt like my staff would now listen to everything I would ask of them and for a short time they did. I can also tell you that later, I threw up. (That seemed to always be the pattern in these situations.)

I can’t tell you that I changed that practice. I thought this is what you do, and you must stomach through it all. Dan would not have told me to do that if it wasn’t something that should happen. And ladies and gentlemen, for several years, I did just that.

And to Gus, and Debbie and Mike and Pete and Simon and Shirley, let me apologize here and now. It took me some time to realize that directing from a place of fear and intimidation was not at all where I wanted to be as a leader. I can’t say that I have had to fire others. But I can say, that for the last 27 years or so, I have never hired someone to be limited in my expectations. I have been their biggest fan.

These manager's who have come into my life in what seemed the most difficult times have taught me that top down leadership does not work. Several times I have sat around a table at regular "leadership" meetings where you quickly learn that when asked for an opinion, it often became repeating back what you had been told. Those managers seldom want new ideas (even though they may ask for that). 

As Suzanne Lucas wrote if her piece, "The Perils of Top Down Management,"You're paying people to do the work; you should listen to their ideas as well. You need to actively encourage their input so that they own the plans and progress." I was amazed when managers who promoted the concepts of listening, seldom did that in their own management system. After a while at the end of meetings when leaders where asked to go around the table and share, it became a series of, "I don;t have anything new today," comments from nearly every leader expect those who where in favor.

.I have personally referred to this style of management as the "Lord of the Flies" school of management and often taking turns in who would play Piggy.

In another management lesson on a series of retreats to grow and build "teamwork" a series of competitions where devised to help the team bond. These retreats (Like many in the United States) also involved consumption of adult beverages. Often times, the senior management would talk about and bet on younger and new team members as to who the lonely gazelle maybe in the group. It was a bold and brazen approach to see who may not be cut out by signaling their inability to stay with the group and this be targeted by the cheetah.

Lonely gazelle attack in managing others.

Richard Bach also said, “Argue for your limitations and they’re yours.” A tough lesson I learned in the most difficult manner. If you limit your team or yourself, they will live down to those exact limitations.

These lessons have been a blessing as well along the way to 50 plus years in these United States. I am grateful now for those difficult leaders that tested who I have become. (Sometimes the gazelle and trying to avoid being the cheetah.)

I sincerely hope that those I have been that difficult leader have grown from my example as well. I cannot imagine being better at leadership without having seen the worst of leadership, myself included.

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2014 - Leadership From Volunteers

Blake pictured 2nd row, arms crossed with baseball cap.

(Fifty Nifty Years in the United States Series)

I have always admired volunteers. I have always had dedicated volunteers. Then there was Blake. Our first meeting was at a fund raising reception in downtown Buffalo and we talked for at least two hours about all things camp. It set the tone for how we communicate.

Most conversations with Blake were all about our common cause, which was the Y camp. We would stroll into other topics like Bugs Bunny, Bigfoot and Oak Island and in an uncanny manner; Blake would always be on message in regards to the cause. “Always be closing” was a term he and I threw around like playing catch. John Maxwell talks about legacy in a recent podcast and it occurs to me that this is Blake's legacy to all.

I have been fortunate to work with George Finnerty at Bluff Lake (And a previous BLOG); Brad Billings at Camp Edwards; Deanna Hudson Edwards at Indian Springs. Each, along with Blake, came to their respective camp before me and each was unique volunteers. They all came and stayed at camp as volunteers.

Brad and Blake always brought their own cabin (trailer) to not take up any room, but also to have their own comfort. I had a Y director ask me once, if I thought it was unusual for someone to come and spend a week or more (sometimes a month) at camp volunteering. It showed me two things. A lack of understanding on their part as to what volunteerism looks like and can be from a true volunteer.

And secondly, it shows a devotion to a cause that Don Quixote infers that you are willing to give up your own comfort “without question or pause.”

Blake was always willing to share, lead, follow or get out of the way. He showed up and gave and gave. In just one example of his service and support. When seeing a lack of understanding on the part of what our food service’s mission truly was (the clue is in the 2nd word “service”) Blake took on specialized training to help support that staff. Our coordinated effort led in a turn-over of staff and in turn led to improved programming in food service from meals to cleanliness to systems.

There are few people (who are not in camping) in the world that understand some of the basics of the camping world and then know how to apply them into practice. I found this in Blake and he helped bring systematic change. He has the great ability to see past the "flocculent" and get to what matters most.

Blake also led our Board, raised money, found new resources, helped develop curriculum and gave tirelessly. There is Daffy Duck cartoon where the bad guy character is named “Shropshire Slasher.” (Check it out at the 2 minute five second mark of this video) Upon being investigated by the dimwit character (played by Daffy) of “Dorlock Holmes” the bad guy also states his occupation is “Shropshire Slasher.”

While Blake and I admire the subtly of this humor; I also think of Blake Walker as just that in his role as a volunteer. I am so grateful for Blake and those I mentioned earlier. They teach and lead and give and teach others to lead and give.

"where only good prevails"

In my 50 plus years in these United States, I am especially grateful for Blake and those like him whose occupation is simply to be “Blake Walker.”

I am also grateful for being part of the second era of Blake and I look forward to hearing about the successes of the third era. Onward!

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1998 - Leadership at 360 Degrees

 

ALF (L) and George (R)

(Fifty Nifty Years in the United States Series)

1998 saw a major loss in my life and another lesson about loss and the void of leadership happened in 1998 when George passed away. I wrote most of this then and with a few additions this year. We served together for well over a decade in the late '80s and 1990's with the Pasadena YMCA in Pasadena, California. And the camp located near Big Bear Lake, California.

When I think of George all I could think of was the dedication that lasted well over 37 years. It was not just a one man show, at every level he involved his family. Tom (his son) as an Indian Guide, and later as the plaque says above the door of the generator shed “He maintained the heartbeat of camp.” (A previous BLOG post called The Power of F Sharp)

I had the good fortune of having Tim (other son) in my teen programs at the Temple City YMCA branch. And I remember one of the first times Katie (daugther) came to camp; probably no more the 3 or 4 months old. She later became our life guard and aquatics director at the camp.

For years I would always schedule volunteer work parties at camp on Mother’s Day weekend. And there was George, always happy to be a part of it, sacrificing his time with Julie (wife) and his children. I am not sure Julie knows, but he complained each year that I had to schedule on some other weekend because he would miss time with her. For some reason it always ended up on that weekend. I know he had the spirit of dedication in the community.

We enjoyed many a cold weekend at the end February at the Camellia Festival in Temple City, California (the local town annual parade and festival) But it was his dedication to the YMCA that is truly inspiring.

I think back to one of the first work parties I went to at Bluff Lake. I was attached to working with this guy who had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and drinking what he referred to as “Bluff Lake Water.” My only thought was is he really drinking that stuff right out of the lake. Little did I know? It wasn’t until he offered me a sip that I realized how much better lake water would have been. 

George always came up to camp on the family camp weeks. He spent a great deal of time chatting with the different families about this and that. In our last few years at camp together it was almost as if he were holding court and people would come by the porch on Rotary just to say hello. He also spent a great deal of time when the Orange YMCA was in camp. The visiting director would always bring some Cuban cigars to share with George and our medic. 

I recall the first time they invited me to join them. I had never smoked a cigar before. It was almost as bad as the Bluff Lake Water. It made me sick to my stomach, but it is a moment I will remember forever. It is these moments that I cherish the most with George.

When the YMCA had its Christmas tree lot in downtown Pasadena, every time I would walk on the lot, and George would come running and jump up and wrap his arms and legs around me a give me a huge hug. He would tell me how much he loved doing this stuff. Of course by the end of the season he would say he never wanted to put a stand on a “blankty-blank” Christmas Tree again. And couldn’t we come up with a better fund raiser. I don’t think he would have traded a minute of it. I know I would not.

I also recall a YMCA retreat in Big Bear, he and I and Wally Wirick (from a previous BLOG) were sitting in a hotel room and he said what a great time it was just to be with us and why we did not do this more often. If George ever had any payment for his service to Camp, it was the fellowship that each of us enjoyed with him. I am sure those who knew George recall your own special moments. It was this fellowship that inspired him to come back each spring, summer fall and winter.

There is not one building of the 26 structures (at that time) at Bluff Lake that does not have the George Finnerty monogram on it. Personally, I know I had him re-hang every door in camp at least twice.

At that time and given the opportunity to walk around Bluff Lake, rest assured in knowing that there was not one piece of equipment that George did not have a hand in acquiring or repairing at some point in time. After all, it was he who taught me how to drive Moose (a world war two half track) and actually let me drive it on several occasions even when he was in camp. (also a previous BLOG and being an international arms dealer)

Tom pictured (L) and George (R)

This coupled with the fact that George was a significant donor to camp for quite some time would lead me to think that George Finnerty was the single largest contributor to Camp Bluff Lake. At that time, I added up the number of hours of work throughout any one year and multiplied that by minimum wage. The dollars add up.

Throw in the thousands he raised each year in contributions, plus his own generous donation and I think you all will agree with me that this is a statement that will stand up to any other measure you may have.

It was George that taught me to ask myself about the YMCA mission. In 1989 when I first became the Camp Director, not a day went by for some 6 months that we did not speak. I was 24 years old and in charge of this huge Camp. George was the Chairman of the camp Board and I called him about everything, every day.

I am sure that I caused a great deal of turmoil at the insurance office where he worked - although he never said so. He would never tell me what to do. He would just say something like ask yourself, how does this help camp. If it is a good decision, that will help the kids, than that’s the right thing to do. Dedication, Dedication Dedication. The list goes on and on.

I looked this word up in the dictionary and surprisingly it did not have George’s picture by it. It does say, “to set apart seriously for a special purpose.” If there were a mark in any one’s life time, this would be George. He always talked about the kids and how what he did helped them so that they could have a good time at Camp Bluff Lake. This was George’s special purpose and he took it seriously. 

People come and go in our lives and some leave a void. As I consider my 50 plus years living and working in these United States, I think of the lessons from George. He is the 360 degree leader that John Maxwell describes. Exceptional, willing to do what others won't, invested, and the go-to person; just to name a few of those traits.

Perhaps the single best is that of following a mission and using that as your filter in decision making. “Just a good decision that will help the kids.” It was folksy and simple and a great way to look at a life of dedication to a cause. My endless thanks to George.

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2013 - Leadership from a PC

 

Paul Cary (also known as PC)

(Fifty Nifty Years in the United States Series)

Paul Cary – I have met many skilled and talented people in my travels. I have only met one lifeguard, lifeguard trainer, WSI, EMT, Eagle Scout, Counselor, Math teacher, program director, master schedule builder, Challenge Course Manager, mountain bike instructor, ropes facilitator who makes great camp-out donuts, LIT skill builder, rivals Chuck Norris in the number of great things that are said about him by other camp staff and LITs, Super Star Leadership, plays several instruments, travel camp leading, volunteer fireman, only person who was employee of the year twice, (author takes a breath) makes peach cobbler in a Dutch oven, and has the best campout nights, always brings dessert or some such baked good item, has had his own Face Book Fan Page, foster parent, who can lead a rendition of “Duke of York” like it’s nobody’s business – (PAUL CARY. Like Patty Hart, one has to say the first and last together.)

I’d like to say I discovered him. However, he was already at the camp when I arrived. I know that there are at least a dozen more things to add to this list and I have already added 7 more since I started writing this sentence. Paul Cary is the kind of person that you find once a decade and has the uncanny knack to make you want to be better as a leader just so you can aspire to the level of leadership that he thrives in.

I know I will never ascertain that level and yet I still push to grow and be the kind of leader that John Wooden talked about. “The first few days of basketball practice,” he explained, “I would observe the players shooting the ball from various places on the court. When I determined the place they made the best percentage of shots, ‘their spot,’ I would take them to that place and say, ‘This is where I want you to shoot the ball. I will design plays to make sure that happens.”

Paul has helped so many find their spot and to excel. Samuel Johnson said, "Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess." One of Paul's strengths is that he seeks out what folks are doing well and helps them develop that skill.

Needless to say and if you can tell from my list, I have yet to find a place that Paul Cary can stand and not sink it. In that I am inspired. I have lived long enough to know that no one person is perfect or great at all things. It is that quiet ambition that Paul exemplifies. I do not even believe that it is intention.

I gained a great lesson from Paul and exemplified from these John Maxwell questions:

"• Is someone else doing what I am doing?

• Are they doing it well?
• Are they doing it better than I am?
• Can I become better than they are?
• If I do become better, what will be the result?
• If I don’t become better, what will be the result?"

I discovered that if I got out of his way, he made our entire team better and I gained that Wooden success reality in myself.

He lives by honor and a code that he demonstrates in all that he does. That determined ambition is what I admire and aspire to emulate. I believe that leaders find greatness in groups, as JohnMaxwell contends, and then helps the members find it in themselves. Paul inspires that greatness through his deeds. The second part of that particular of John Maxwell’s rule is that, “a leaders potential is determined by those closest to them. “

This is the gift that I get from Paul as I have spent the last 50 plus years in these United States. I am grateful for being close to Paul and for his quiet ambition that helps me want to be a better leader, follower, and human. And I am happy to call him my good friend.

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Post Script - I previously wrote about PC's leadership style in my 40 Summers 40 Lessons series

2012 - Semper Gumby Leadership

A great lesson in leadership

“Semper Fi” is the Marine Corps motto and while I have never been a Marine, I have had the opportunity to work with several over 40 summers.

For eight of those summers I have had the honor and privilege of having Steve “Tigger” Waterman as part of what John Maxwell calls my inner circle at camp.

“Tigger” reminds me often, “Once a Marine, always a Marine.” He has spent the last 18 or so years working in the camping world adding value to whatever team he has been a part of.

Tigger’s approach to the world is a big part of my learning as well. He has a great way with young people and this big, tough Marine is as gentle and flexible as they come. He has in his work volunteered the better part of many winter Saturdays with teens at a local store selling candy bars to help them earn their way to camp.

On one occasion, he arrives at the store, which our office arranged to have a table display in the lobby area. Did I mention that it was winter…winter in Buffalo?

Anyway, the store had no record that we were supposed to be there. He called and calmly rearranged everything and made it happen with the store manager. And he made sure that the teens took turns sitting in his car for warmth while they rotated out to the store entry while he stayed there the entire time himself supporting their endeavor. This is the essence of “Tigger.”

Tigger (Pictured Left) with Camp Nurse (R)

(Fifty Nifty Years in the United States Series)

At camp (during Outdoor Education season) when a school would arrive late, or when it rains, or when someone calls in sick - name the circumstance - Tigger would  make things happen in calm, cool and collected sense. He will rally the staff around the trouble and he stays as flexible as the old 60’s clay-mation show “Gumby.”

He is a leader who adapts and inspires other to do so as well. With that he takes customer satisfaction to a higher level. Many parents, school teachers, staff, chaperones and campers adore and admire his abilities. So, if you can imagine this big burly Marine guy with a goatee standing around saying “you wanna buy a candy bar to help kids go to camp this summer?”

Steve would also help lead through his examples of service to others. One of the long time camp program activities was a game called "Dutch Auction." It is one of those cross camp activities where all age groups participate from youngest to oldest; typically by cabin/age group. Ultimately as scores are added up by the judges, Steve always made sure that the youngest campers score was slightly skewed higher. His philosophy was, "when do the youngest kids ever get to win anything." In our truly modern world that we live in; it may seem an unfair bias. 

Clare Trageser states (writing for PBS SoCal), "Creativity researchers ... say that's actually creative problem solving, to come up with new directions," she says. "And so kind of letting them play along with that is interesting. But maybe rather than having them moving the goalposts during a game, changing the rules on the spot, what I could do is say, 'OK, so why don't we set up the rules this way this time, and we don't have to play by the same rules we did last time. We can do different ones next time, but what are the rules for today?'"

It is this that I am grateful as he adapted a servant leader attitude to every situation. And I have adopted and learned his motto as one of my own. I am grateful for Steve as I have moved on this journey of 50 plus years in these United States. “Semper Gumby.”

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2011 - Leadership; "Never Take Yourself Too Seriously"

 

Steve Martin as "The Jerk"

(Fifty Nifty Years In United States Series)

Steve Martin played Navin Johnson in The Jerk (One of the best 3.5 minutes ever in a movie). And I quote. “Well I'm gonna to go then! And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need *you*. I don't need anything. Except this.” [picks up an ashtray] “And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray... And this paddle game. - The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball... And this lamp. - The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all *I* need. And that's *all* I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something! - And this. That's all I need. [walking outside] “The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, and this magazine, and the chair. And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.” [Dog growls at him] “I don't need my dog.”

And with that, Julie and I are roaring with laughter. It defined our relationship serving at the YMCA together. I would say or do things. She would call me an Idiot. We would roar with laughter.

At the core of it all was a genuine respect for what needed to be accomplished and how we choose to do the work and offer ourselves up to a mission in delivering a program to develop and grow young people in an outdoor setting. I could count on Julie for everything.

For six years, hardly a day went by that we did not speak to one another to check in and determine what needed to be done to fulfill our mission. As many of you know, I enjoy a good joke, prank or and business that leads to a pun. Julie provoked that in me unlike any person I have worked with before. “Don’t take yourself too seriously.”

In Your Roadmap for Success, John Maxwell says we need to be able to laugh at ourselves, “… success depends more on your attitude than it does on how important you think you are.  Life should be fun.  Even if your job is important and should be taken seriously, that doesn’t mean you should take yourself seriously.  You’ll go farther in life and have a better time doing it if you maintain a sense of humor, especially when it comes to yourself.” Our work and the fun that we had was authentic, healthy, and helpful.

I consider the numerous obstacles and challenges that lay before us in our work with that organization and at that time and I am grateful for the provocation of humor from Julie. (I have never been referred to as an idiot – to my face that is – more times than during that six and a half year period.)

Like being called “boss” by a previous co-worker (and previous BLOG) well over a decade prior, I know that it was meant with care and respect.

There was also a special mission to Julie’s heart and I felt like we connected at that level as well. I know what a devoted Christian she is and how much that helped lead my decisions and our work together. Even if you are not a Christian or have a faith base in your life, you would get a sense that this woman believed in what we were doing was inspired by a higher force.

In my time as a leader, I have had some amazing people come in and out of my life. I can tell you that Julie helped keep me on a path and delivering mission centered work to those we served. I was led by her belief that we served in a manner that could only come from a higher power. And given the choice that we could linger in the stress of those challenges and allow the negativity to bring us down or just laugh at it. We choose to laugh and laugh and laugh.

Julie (L) Al (R) laughing on our way to leadership

One last item. Julie is a just a few years older than I am and I was in fact her supervisor. I say that only to make this point even stronger. Many leaders find it difficult to allow others to lead. She led the way in our relationship and I felt that gift from her nearly every day we worked together. Since our time together, she has attained greater significance as a leader that I could imagine. I am blessed by the gift she gave me to allow our work to thrive.

I guess that we spoke nearly every day for six and a half years. That’s nearly 2400 times. I cannot think of one single time that we did not have laughter in our conversations.  Can you imagine what that might be like?

In my 50 plus years living and working in these United States, I am so grateful for learning to laugh and for Julie who led with her faith. I know she is working hard right now with another YMCA and I hope that as she leads them, she’ll fondly remember our times and think, “you idiot.”

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2010 - Leadership and "fatherly" Lesson

 

Lesa Culpepper (L)

(Fifty Nifty Years In the United States Series)

Lesa Culpepper – So this is the year after our last year working together in Florida and the reason I picked it was the true impact of Lesa’s influence on my life was felt. For most of our last three years in Florida; Lesa became a tremendous part in our lives.

I recall that we (several staff and I) were at a conference for camping folks in Orlando, FL and I was there to recruit summer staff as well. There was a bulletin board with plenty of resumes and fliers of potential candidates. None jumped out at me. I did notice what appeared to be a the word “tern” on a small 3x5 card under the corners of several other resumes.

There was something about that card that led to a phone call and a meeting and eventually that internship. It was buried beneath so much and I still noticed it like the bright shining object in a sky of so many other shiny things. It was a guiding hand that made me look deeper. That has been the lesson with Lesa.

Her camp name is “SuperNova” and I found that that has been how she leads. A bright light that explodes and leads you on a path. I have read a theory that the Star of Bethlehem was in fact a Super Nova and the wise man followed it to the Christ child. So it may not come as a surprise of how this wonderful servant leader helped me become a better father.

Lesa lived at Camp and then near-by as her internship became a full time position with our camp. Her faith led her to a church that actually met at the YMCA. I on the other hand, did not want to be a part of a church that essentially met at work and declined attendance over and over. Lesa never wavered and decided that my children needed spiritual guidance and would drive my kids to attend and participate. I did not see this as a issue and I enjoyed my Sunday mornings at home drinking coffee and watching the Sunday morning magazine shows on television.

It was only after leaving Florida and moving to a new camp in New York that my faith woke up again from a nap. I realized that Lesa was providing the fatherly example to Alec, Kelly and Brian that I was not. I see that as a lesson that has meant so much for me.

In a previous BLOG, I wrote about a call I received when I first became a father. I consider myself a servant leader and I learned and gained from Lesa what should have come naturally. I learned from that 23 year old how to lead and provide what I believe is the most important part of parenting.

This has led me to a path of taking on a leadership role in my church working with youth and developing their spiritual education. I am so grateful for “SuperNova” and her explosion into our lives and in my 50 plus years living in these United States I am blessed by her example of “fatherly” service.